Overwhelmed & Unfamiliar

I know from the title of this blog you are worried already. But to save you from that I will tell you both being overwhlemed and unfamiliar are beautiful things to be a part of, because I have found rest in each of them.

We will start with unfamiliar. The second I think I understand where I am I make a wrong turn and before I know it I am 3 hours away from where I wanted to be. This has to do with much more than me being a crappy driver (although I am and I will be the first to tell you it's all because I am a girl...it's just inevitable...so I embrace it) But you see, this seems to be the story of my life the past week. And it is so frustrating because I can't stand not knowing and understanding what's going on around me. North, West, Southeast, turn left on the crooked side street - how am I supposed to know any of this? Get on the corner of the street over there and have money ready, but the exact amount, because they don't give change, and then you will lose all 20 dollars, and you don't want that to happen. So right after you figure that out be ready to get off at the stop that is written in another language just for kicks and then transfer to the blueorange line 45 from the turqoisebrown train 967 then turn around 4 times give the guy on the corner a sub sandwhich and tada! you are downtown! Wait a second....what's a train? See the problem? I am in a very foreign atmosphere to say the least, and until a few days ago I was determined to change that. Chicago and Mesa have very few things in common. Lets just say they are both cities and have people in them. And that is about the extent of that. So there are these verses in John chapter 10 where Jesus is talking about being the Shepherd. It says, "He (talking about Jesus) calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, (ah I love this part) and his sheep follow him because they know his voice." AH! I do know something! I know His voice. Finally something familiar. These verses have cleared up alot of the unfamiliar feeling -not made it disappear by any means - but explained to me how to handle it and how to embrace it. This is by knowing what is familiar to me, no not the color train, but my Shepherd's voice. I know that through this process of seeking God, I know Him. He is not expecting me to go into any of this blindly, but right behind Him, while He is showing me the way. I may not be familiar with where I am and the people around me, but I do know my Jesus' voice, and that brings me peace. God isn't calling me to be a shepherd in this adventure alone, but He has called me to be a part of the sheep, who know and listen to His voice and then follow His lead. Now that I can do. (Psalm 23 has been a great thing to dwell on too :)

And in that truth, some of my heart. Being ridiculously overwhelmed. Change that is so stirring, so stimulating, and so exciting is leaving me exhausted. It is putting me in this place where I can't do anything else but indulge myself in who God is. And in this, I am so taken back by God's (deep breathe) immense love. His grace that I don't deserve. His strength. It's intense and I fear it. His comfort that sneaks under me when I need it and grabs a hold of me so tight I can't even move. This peace that I don't understand in the midst of frustration. It's huge. And it overwhelms me. It leaves me completely speechless. There is a song that I have been listening to this past week alot, it's called The More I Seek You, and this is the chorus:

I want to sit at Your feet
Drink from the cup in Your hand
Lay ack against You and breathe
Feel Your heartbeat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
It's overwhelming

To dwell on this vastness of God's goodness is an endless pursuit that I want to strive after with all of my heart. Because it is so fulfilling and satisfying and pure. And my heart longs for it everyday.

I will apologize now for slacking on keeping this thing updated the past week, so to make it up to you, I will write everyday or so this next week. So...keep checking in! I am waiting for something funny to happen, and as soon as it does you will be the first to know. (Don't be dissapointed if it doesn't - there's only so much control I have over that)

Here are some pics from the birthday weekend! Ash was here. What an angel she is and I love her. My adventurous friend and I had way too much fun being spontaneous and we managed to get a nose pierced (hers), two ears pierced (mine), and a crazy hair cut (mine again). Can I get a woohoo for being random!?

Well, like I said I will be updating my posts a ton this week so I will talk to you soon. Thanks for thinking of me and all the prayers. They are being heard! Keep em coming!